57 : kissing or not

 Everything settled down. With Zhang Shu's appearance, the matter quickly came to a conclusion. The Zhang family was finished. The Zhang family head, who had rushed over that day, knelt before Zhang Shu in public, begging her to save the situation.

Everyone watched this farce. Finally, Zhang Huabang looked at the emotionless person laughing and realized there was no such thing as dependence. Everything was just a prelude to her own return, whether it was the Zhang family or her son.

No wonder Zhang Su's actions hadn't reached his ears; someone had covered his ears, and he couldn't hear anything.

Song Shi stared blankly at everything before him, having forgotten how he left. When he came to his senses, he found himself in the dormitory.

The noise and screams ceased, and the surroundings became quiet. Chen Zhoumu placed water in front of him, and then he felt a warm touch on his hand. The other person gripped his hand tightly.

For a long time, no one spoke. Song Shi was immersed in his own emotions, while Chen Zhoumu just looked at him without saying a word.

After a while, he heard a barely audible sigh, then his face was gently cupped: "Song Shi, you always hide your emotions when you look at me, it must be exhausting, you know?" Song Shi

looked up and closed his eyes. He felt a wave of powerlessness and simply replied softly, "It's okay."

"It's okay, you know I don't want to hear these words. I hope you can rely on me a little more. I want you to know that you're not alone now. I'm your boyfriend."

"So, you can say whatever you want to me, it's okay to be scared, it's okay to be tired, it's okay to want to cry, it's okay to want to shout, it's okay to want to lean on my shoulder. I don't want to hear you say 'it's okay,' okay?"

Each word reached Song Shi's ears. It turned out that someone really cared about all his emotions. He slowly leaned against the other's shoulder: "Mmm..."

Chen Zhoumu felt a dampness on his shoulder. He gently patted the other's back, hoping Song Shi would feel better. A long-lost relative suddenly appearing before him was something he couldn't accept, especially in this situation.

After a while, the other moved away again. Chen Zhoumu looked at his slightly reddened eyes and reached out to touch them.

"Want to kiss?"

"Hmm?"

"They say kissing releases dopamine, which makes you feel happier. Because you're feeling bitter right now, please be happy. And I'm also taking a little personal motive into consideration."

"Want to kiss me? Boyfriend." Chen Zhoumu cupped his face in one hand.

Song Shi unconsciously looked at the other person's mouth. The other person's lips were beautifully shaped, with a healthy pink hue. "Okay."

He watched Chen Zhoumu's face slowly loom closer, his eyes involuntarily closing. He felt a gentle touch on his face. Chen Zhoumu kissed his burning eyelids, tracing the path down where the tears had just flowed.

They stopped when they were only a finger's width apart. Song Shi could feel the other person's breath brushing against his lips, but there was no further movement.

"Wait." Chen Zhoumu suddenly pulled back. Song Shi opened his eyes in confusion, then saw the other person rummaging through his pocket—a small, square tin can—and emptying the contents into his hand.

The round candies were placed in front of him. He heard the other person say, "Choose one."

Song Shi didn't know what the other person wanted to do, so he just randomly picked one.

Then he saw Chen Zhoumu peel back the cardboard box and immediately stuff it into his mouth. Song Shi felt a gentle push on his head, followed by a warm touch on his lips, along with a strong grape flavor.

Song Shi's mind went blank for a moment, then he closed his eyes. He didn't know how much time had passed—maybe a minute, maybe ten—because all his attention was focused on the person in front of him.

It felt like all the oxygen in his mouth and lungs had been stolen before the person slowly backed away.

"Open your mouth, breathe,"

Song Shi could only listen to the other's voice as he slowly adjusted his breathing, his breath now tinged with the scent of grapes. Then

he heard the other laugh: "Idiot, you can't even breathe properly."

Looking at the other's expression, Song Shi, as if defiant, suddenly grabbed the other's collar and kissed them fiercely.

The grape-flavored candy had unknowingly melted, its scent mingling with their hot breaths, ending the grape-scented kiss.

Their heads were pressed together, their breaths mingling.

"Life is so long, Song Shi. I don't have the confidence to make you remember me forever. Although I would never let go even if it meant death, I've become insecure since meeting you, so I had to resort to this method."

"I just want you to think of me whenever you taste grapes in the future. That would be enough for me."

Song Shi leaned lazily against his shoulder. "Why do you say that?"

Chen Zhoumu lowered his eyes to look at Song Shi. He felt that the other person always gave him the feeling of liking him but not liking him. Just when he thought they were getting close, the other person would suddenly withdraw. This attitude was hot and cold, making it impossible for him to guess what the other person was thinking. He was left to wander in this uncertain emotion, both expectant and afraid.

But saying these words would be too sentimental, so he had to cut back when he said them, only saying in a muffled voice:

"You are like a star, I can't guess whether you will shine tonight."

Hearing the other person say this, Song Shi left his embrace. Looking at the other person, Chen Zhoumu now looked more like an abandoned dog, his eyelids drooping. If he had a tail, it certainly wouldn't wag now. This time, it was his turn to cup the other person's face.

"Chen Zhoumu."

"Hmm?" Chen Zhoumu wrapped his arms around the other's waist and lifted him up, making sure he didn't have to stand on tiptoe to hold his face.

"I like you, did you hear me?"

"If I'm a star to you, then please be my universe."

Chen Zhoumu looked up at the person who was slightly taller than him: "I heard you, and I'm very happy. So, is Song Shi happy now?"

"Yes."

There were still some things for Song Shi to handle. Gao Ting had fallen from the building, but luckily, tree branches cushioned her fall, and she had already been taken to the hospital.

When Song Shi arrived at the ward, there was already someone sitting there. He didn't recognize this person, who was just staring expressionlessly at the person lying on the hospital bed, not even noticing Song Shi's arrival.

Song Shi looked around the quiet room. Gao Ting was out of danger, but whether she woke up or not depended on her own wishes. Just as he was about to leave, the person sitting by the bed suddenly spoke.

"Thank you."

After the ward doors were closed again, Shen Huai looked at the pale-faced person on the bed. Since her accident, no one had visited her except Song Shi. He reached out and tucked the blanket around her.

"I'm sorry. I thought that by working for Zhang Su, I wouldn't hurt you anymore. Now I realize that I'm the one who hurt you the most."

He reached out and touched her face: "Me? What I hate most is waiting. I hate waiting for the rain to stop, I hate waiting for traffic lights, and I hate waiting for someone. But it seems like I'm always waiting. But now I don't hate waiting anymore. I'm waiting for you to wake up."

Song Shi took a bus to the cemetery. After entering, he walked towards the place he visited every year. Not far away, a person was already standing in front of a tombstone, their figure somewhat indistinct in the mist.

He walked up to them, and the person slowly turned around. Zhang Shu looked at the person approaching; they had grown very tall, no longer the little dumpling they used to be.

She looked at the tombstone again: "Son, this photo isn't very good. Doesn't it look better than me in person?"

Then she tossed her phone to Song Shi, squatted down in front of the tombstone, and smiled at him: "Come on, take a picture of Mom."

Song Shi took the phone expressionlessly and casually snapped a picture. Zhang Shu took the phone: "Indeed, the photo doesn't look as good as the person in person."

Then she put the phone away and looked at the person in the photo again. This photo was taken fifteen years ago; time flies.

"Son, are you still resentful of your mother?"

The two stood together. "This is what the Zhang family has to go through. Growing up in indifference, what you become in the end depends entirely on your own fate. Fortunately, you didn't become like your mother. If you hate me, then keep hating me."

"I've taken care of everything. From now on, it's just you alone."

Song Shi sneered, looking at the photo on the tombstone. "Why?"

Did he resent her? Of course he did. She wasn't there when he needed her. She saw everything but did nothing. Back in Guangzhou, the cemetery was his second home.

I forgive you, forgive your indifference, forgive your inaction, and forgive all the hardships you endured.

But you finally appeared, so why leave again?

A gentle pat on the head. Zhang Shu looked at the child before her. Did she love this child? Not really, just the person who nurtured this child with her, so she extended that love to the child.

"I'll be in San Francisco from now on. If you miss me, come visit. I'll tell you everything."

A shout came from not far away. Zhang Shu smiled, a genuine smile, then turned to Song Shi: "You go now, I'm leaving too."

Song Shi walked down, stopping a short distance away. He looked back at where he had just been shouting. He saw the person who had shouted earlier running forward, and Zhang Shu embracing them tightly.

His gaze flickered, then he turned and walked down again. He picked up his phone and turned it on, only to realize it wasn't his, but Chen Zhoumu's. The other party had removed the password sometime during the night.

His hand accidentally clicked on a webpage; the search engine still displayed the things the phone's owner had searched for:

[How do boys kiss?]

[What does kissing feel like?] Just

as Song Shi smiled and was about to put his phone away, a call came in. The contact name was "Xiao Shi's Friend."

He reached out and swiped to answer: "Hmm?"

"Did you finish things?"

"I'm on my way back. What's up?"

"Nothing, I just missed you. I wanted to ask if you missed me."

A smile spread across his face. Song Shi stopped and kicked a pebble at his feet: "Yeah, I did."

"Turn around."

Song Shi held the phone away from his ear, then turned around abruptly. Chen Zhoumu was not far away, smiling at him with his phone in hand. Then, he slowly opened his arms, and Song Shi ran over, laughing.

Chen Zhoumu hugged him: "Smile more. Song Shi is most vibrant when he smiles."

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