[World 02] - 01

 What should a happy family be like?

Jiang Qiunian hadn't thought about it.

But it was probably not like his family.

"Mom, I'm going to school." Jiang Qiunian didn't see his mother often. After he turned ten, the two could only spend a short time together when his father was in a good mood.

So every day, Jiang Qiunian stubbornly stood in front of his mother's door, greeting her even without any response.

This time was no exception; there was no sound from inside.

The housekeeper urged him softly from the side. A shadow of darkness flashed across Jiang Qiunian's calm, handsome face. As he lifted his foot to leave, he heard a faint sound, like metal or a chain sliding.

Ah... poor mother.

Although he thought this, Jiang Qiunian felt content because his mother had responded to him.

This satisfaction allowed Jiang Qiunian to smile at his classmates at school, just like his self-made, smiling tiger father, Zhou Gebai, which made Jiang Qiunian somewhat irritable.

Because his mother disliked his father, he, being similar to his father, often received cold treatment because of this.

Listening to the teacher's dry and tedious explanations, the bright Jiang Qiunian had already mastered knowledge beyond his grade level. He twirled his expensive pen, his eyes gazing blankly at the blackboard, but he recalled the last time he saw his mother.

His beautiful, pitiful mother, clearly a man, was like a caged canary, forced by his father to wear silk nightgowns. The flesh-colored dress draped over her milky-white body made his innocent face appear alluring and full of a soft, divine quality.

Jiang Qiunian was now thirteen. He could no longer lie on his mother's lap as a child, his cheeks and head stroked by her jade-like fingers.

When he was ten, something happened that forbade Jiang Qiunian from approaching his mother.

Although he hadn't seen his mother very often before that, it hadn't been as severe as it had been after he turned ten. His mother, locked atop a high tower, possessed by an evil dragon, was like a princess waiting for a prince to rescue her.

His mother…

his mother was so gentle, yet the emotions in her eyes were unfathomable to young Jiang Qiunian. They seemed to hold love, pity, but weren't quite pure.

Later, as Jiang Qiunian grew up, he suddenly understood: those beautiful green eyes also held disgust and confusion towards him.

His mother loved him, yet hated him.

This was something Jiang Qiunian took a long time to process.

But Jiang Qiunian still loved his mother, because hating him wasn't her fault.

Jiang Qiunian wasn't stupid. His family was dysfunctional; his father ignored him, looking at him not like he was looking at his own child, but like a piece of trash.

But he was the only reason his mother stayed with his father.

He realized this in elementary school. Even in a prestigious school, children's malice was very direct, especially for someone with Jiang Qiunian's "complex" background.

Outsiders all say that Jiang Qiunian's mother, Jiang Nian, is a scheming, greedy, and seductive vixen who used her unborn child to force Zhou Gebai into marriage. However, Zhou Gebai didn't love her, so even their child wasn't given the Zhou surname.

The elite school had a clear hierarchy, so Jiang Qiunian was bullied by everyone.

After the teacher first warned Zhou Gebai, but Zhou Gebai ignored her, the teacher chose to let things go.

But this situation changed when Jiang Nian discovered the scars on Jiang Qiunian's face. At that time, Jiang Nian was still free; she was still a "mother" who purely loved her child.

He held little Jiang Qiunian tenderly, wiping the dirt off him with a silk scarf. It was the first time Jiang Qiunian had ever seen his usually gentle and frail mother lose her temper. He yelled at Zhou Gebai, "If you don't treat Qiunian well, we'll get a divorce! I never loved you anyway, we should have separated long ago!"

"If it weren't for Qiunian, if it weren't for him..."

Jiang Nian didn't know that Jiang Qiunian, growing up in this environment, was very precocious. He had even deliberately let his classmates leave marks on his face, just to make Jiang Nian feel sorry for him and care for him a little longer.

So, after hearing these words, Jiang Qiunian's mind went blank. He couldn't remember his father's reaction at the time; he only remembered the suffocating pain he felt.

But he was too young. Back then, he only knew that because of him, his mother had no choice but to stay with his father. Only when he grew up did he understand that his mother not only didn't love his father, but also, complicatedly, didn't love him.

No, that's too simplistic.

Whether his mother loved him or not couldn't be explained so simply.

In his hazy, innocent state, Jiang Qiunian could sense Jiang Nian's care for him, as if he were the reason Jiang Nian came into this world.

However, these thoughts were shattered by a single sentence from Jiang Nian when he was ten years old.

His mother was holding him; Jiang Qiunian had grown so quickly that by ten years old, it was difficult for his mother to hold him, but Jiang Nian still hugged him tightly as always. Zhou Gebai sat beside them watching Jiang Nian; this should have been a picture of a happy family of three.

But suddenly, Jiang Nian lifted Jiang Qiunian's face, looking puzzled, and murmured to himself, "Why doesn't Qiunian look like me at all?"

"Not at all."

As if unintentional, Jiang Qiunian didn't take it to heart.

But when Jiang Nian went to sleep, his father, who never paid attention to him, looked at him coldly and said, "From now on, you'd better not show your face in front of Nian Nian."

But ultimately, considering that Jiang Nian might make a fuss, and also relying on him to control Jiang Nian, he finally compromised, allowing Jiang Qiunian to see his mother once every two weeks.

This situation has continued to this day.

Jiang Qiunian snapped out of his reverie, not even having had a chance to savor the wonderful time he'd just spent with his mother, when class ended.

Thirteen-year-old Jiang Qiunian had become quite remarkable; not only did he consistently rank first in his class, but he'd also mastered many social skills, even making a group of superficial friends in a school that valued family backgrounds.

He picked up his bag and left the classroom with his friends.

As he turned the corner, he overheard gossip.

"What's so arrogant about Jiang Qiunian? His mother hasn't been publicly acknowledged by Zhou Gebai yet; she's just a secret lover, destined to be abandoned sooner or later. Jiang Qiunian will end up as a bastard."

"Haha, maybe his mother is ugly, that's why no one has ever seen him. But a man getting pregnant, just thinking about it is disgusting..."

He didn't finish his sentence.

The boy who was speaking was struck on the head by the metal corner of Jiang Qiunian's leather schoolbag. Jiang Qiunian didn't stop, continuing to strike without blinking until the boy's head was bleeding. Only then did the boy look up at the teacher who had run out and said calmly, "Teacher, he insulted my mother."

Jiang Qiunian wasn't afraid, knowing he would be fine.

Because his father would only be more furious than him.

What a bunch of idiots, they don't even understand cause and effect. If it were just some insignificant lover, how could Zhou Gebai, who had been single and chaste until now, never had any scandals, marry him?

Back then, news of Zhou Gebai and Jiang Nian's marriage was everywhere. Even now, Jiang Qiunian can still find those newspapers. Through the black-and-white photos, he looks at his mother, her face partially obscured by Zhou Gebai, only a blurry profile visible.

His heart softens unbelievably.

Besides, he shares the surname Jiang—isn't that perfectly natural?

Because everything was for Zhou Gebai's strange possessiveness and his subtle attempts to please Jiang Nian.

Jiang Qiunian understands his father; he doesn't want others to see his beautiful mother either.

The next time he meets his mother, Jiang Qiunian doesn't mention this little incident. He acts like a child, showing Jiang Nian his award certificate, "Mom, I'm number one again!"

Sure enough, Jiang Nian flashes that captivating smile, which greatly invigorates Jiang Qiunian. Even after Zhou Gebai chases him away, he remains happy.

Mom…Mom…I miss Mom so much…

Jiang Qiunian naively believes he can stay with his mother like this forever, even though she wasn't willing, even though she doesn't love his father, even though she didn't truly want him—it doesn't matter! They shared an unbreakable bloodline. Even with his deformity, he and his mother would always be together; his mother could never escape him.

However, Jiang Nian became pregnant again.

Jiang Qiu Nian, upon learning this, went mad, only to be ruthlessly suppressed. Unlike the overjoyed Zhou Ge Bai, Jiang Qiu Nian harbored hatred for the unborn child.

Because this child would steal away the mother's love that was uniquely his.

Would his mother's already limited love for him vanish completely because of this child?

Jiang Qiu Nian worried and hated this. On the day Jiang Nian gave birth, he smashed up the room where he was locked and secretly went to his family's private hospital.

There, he saw a man who resembled his father. The man punched his father to the ground, but his usually aloof father now seemed deeply shocked, sitting on the ground in disbelief.

Jiang Qiu Nian didn't pay much attention. He intended to bypass the hospital to find his mother and that… disgusting child. He wanted to strangle him so that his mother would have only him, her precious baby, again.

But then he heard the strange man say, "Niannian's first child was stillborn. How could you let him get pregnant again?"

...? What?

His mother's first child?

Wasn't it him?

His father's voice was filled with anguish as he replied, "I thought it was because your sperm wasn't good enough, that's why your child with Niannian died. I thought Niannian and my child would have a different outcome. How could this happen? My Niannian, what am I going to do with my Niannian..."

What?

Jiang Qiunian was completely bewildered.

The man was also in pain, filled with hatred for Zhou Gebai. He said in a hoarse voice, "Things have already developed like this, there's no way around it. You should do what I did. Find an unwanted baby from a collateral branch and pretend it's Niannian's child."

"Like Jiang Qiunian."

Like me?

Jiang Qiunian felt as if his soul had left his body, finding the world utterly absurd.

Knowing he wasn't Zhou Gebai's biological child, Jiang Qiunian felt nothing. He didn't care who his biological father was, which explained why Zhou Gebai hated him.

Who would like their wife to cheat on them?

But how could he not be his mother's child?

No wonder Zhou Gebai reacted so strongly to Jiang Nian's comment about why he wasn't like him.

It was his guilt and lingering fear; he was afraid Jiang Nian would discover he wasn't his child.

Jiang Qiu Nian's eyes were bloodshot with hatred.

Why wasn't he born from his mother's womb? His only bond with his mother couldn't be fake. If it was fake…

would his mother still love him?

Jiang Qiu Nian was eventually discovered by Zhou Gebai. The man didn't react otherwise. He looked at the little boy, whose mind had been twisted since childhood, and simply asked, "You know the truth?"

Jiang Qiu Nian didn't speak.

Zhou Gebai didn't care. He and the man were both eager to see Jiang Nian. Besides, Zhou Gebai knew that this Jiang Qiu Nian, whose dark thoughts he had discovered as a child, was afraid of hurting Jiang Nian and thus kept him and Jiang Nian apart, would deliberately cut himself with a knife, just to make Jiang Nian notice him again, to make her care about Jiang Nian as much as he did.

He wasn't afraid Jiang Qiu Nian would tell Jiang Nian.

Jiang Qiu Nian was more afraid of Jiang Nian knowing the truth.

A few months later, while Zhou Gebai was away, Jiang Qiunian pried open Jiang Nian's bedroom door, sneaked to Jiang Nian's bedside, and crawled under Jiang Nian's clothes, pressing his head against Jiang Nian's stomach. He whispered obsessively and frantically, "Mom, you are my mom, give birth to me from here again."

Jiang Nian, who had been fast asleep, opened his eyes. He was still a little weak. He looked at Jiang Qiunian, who had crawled out of his clothes in the darkness, and felt like he was still in a nightmare.

He reached out and stroked Jiang Qiunian's cheek, whispering, "Why did you dream of me, Qiunian?"

Jiang Qiunian's expression was indifferent. He said, "It's so strange, Qiunian. I always feel like my child is dead. The baby in the nursery next door isn't mine."

"Just like you."

"I've felt that way for a long, long time."

Tears streamed down Jiang Qiunian's face. For the first time, he showed weakness in front of his mother, but his expression was so ferocious that it was unlike anything a child his age could express. He looked at his beloved mother, his heart filled with a mixture of love and hate, and said as if under a spell, "It's all your imagination, Mom."

"How could I not be your child?"

"I am your own flesh and blood."

Forever and ever.

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